I wish to care for you but i fear being reject by you.
The only thing i can do is to wish u happy.
I just hope someone can do a better job than me.

29/sept Final paper is over. Went to Zouk after that opps..is Zoo becoz Da Jie Ying got 2 membership card that can bring 8 ppl in so nth to do i might as well tag along. The journey there is Shag and still Shag. Some Raining though but does not dampen the mood to go there. When reached there although some things changed and the last time i went there i think is 6-7 yrs but the "feel" is remain unchanged. Quite disappointing becoz i wanted to go there play the "spider" playground but they remove it liao found near the animal farm. From young, i love go there dunno why so after seeing that thing being remove, i felt a sense of disappointment.


After coming back from zoo, i still felt shag and need to rush down to town meet the girls for dinner b4 nana come, i am the only Guy lah with 6 girls. -.= *nana is a guy.
My dinner is a Fried Dory fillet with Rice and a Bowl of Fried fish soup..POWER $10 bucks eat till full plus nice. Denise went off awhile later to MOS to club and Zi xuan go home meet BF left 4 girls with me, Samantha got tummyache for no reason so suggest her take some water and milo instead those carbon drinks. We went to BK for some drinks and went to a pub near HARD ROCK CAFE there drink with nana and his frens, actually quite near my work place siah, keep kenna suan by them siah -.=" i am just too shag lah not because of other reason. Everything too packed up at one go make me get stunned.

Lastly met up with Jian and went to Coffee Club drink Tea called earl grey tea very fragrance* by drinking that relax my mind.
Then went back home prepare myself slp early for the Gym session next day.

I think my body is like balloon siah can pump up and down. Fri i went gym after my paper with andy and after all the workout and i took my weight is 64kg maybe becoz i ate 1 meal till gym. Ytd i went to work and took my weight again -.=" 66kg. WTH 2kgs so easy to put on one meh.
70 is my target weight...

Friday 24/8 Operating System Management's paper meaning exam* at 430 den after that i took abt 45 min settle it and went to change and go gym at NYP gym for abt 1 hr 10 min like this den shag need to go and have something to eat because from morning till that time i only had 1 meal which is not enough loh.
After Gym at NYP den i head down to Orchard Tower to find Jian an hoping can do something b4 going home shld be super sianed if just by heading home. After some struggling and discussing, decided to went to balcony bar for some chillx out..ordered a bucket of 6 bottles of Hen and chillx..super shag siah mayb becoz the beer too much gas, feel so uncomfortable.

Fook siah...i ren so many days dun smoke but after Jian's encourage i go buy 1 pack feel abit guilty then some funny thing happened. The Cheers store got 1 lady cashier and infront of me is a kid wanted to buy cirgs and the kid kenna check lah LL cant buy. Then my turn i wanted to change a brand and try so i picked Dunhill then i dunno which is which den i told the cashier i first time then she check my IC thought i am underage lah...super funny siah then i told her i just wanted to change brands.

I shall really control and cut down man..WORKING HARD and i need some moltivation.

Went to study at AMK mac as usual but when i was talking bus 142 to outside change to other bus. I at my bus stop saw 2 amazing things.
Firstly, I saw a kindergarten 2 (K2) girl waiting bus to go her kindergarten although only 1 stop from that bus stop but i alrdy find it amazing liao. She carried a water bottle herself and wear a lanyard with EZ-link and just go school alone, i abit bu shuang becoz the parents why treat her child like this siah, how many ppl K2 go sch alone? I am sure just going downstairs the blk alrdy dun allow let alone let her travel to school alone. I feel too young for a kid to learn independent, thats my view though, i feel when she grow up will become a great person. *She is cute

Another amazing took place at the bus stop too, i got a cut at my right leg and i was using tissue paper to press on it, suddenly a auntie come forward and pass me a blaster, i say no but her insist make me accept. Hmm..hard to find already in SG for kind soul. Sometimes when u at outside having problem, what u yearn is a little help from others may touched u even by little things. Should PM Lee lead Singporean to a environment that everyone is helpful towards each other? But i know should be hard or near impossible.

These 2 events make my day..

Going to another phase of my life, giving up teenager and becoming young adult.
becoming 20 means i live my life for that long. I transferred 2 times when i enter my primary hood(woodsville pri), i still remember my first love is a girl called yi ling and very qiao, Karen Tan know her, gd friend somemore and also my long long buddy Tobby also like her den when i pri 3, i chiong my school work from 1D, 2D den 3B leh finally same class with her, i still lend her abacus for exchange of house number -.=" and she gave me a bear that time. Seriously dun ask me y i so flirt when so young, i seriously dunno siah then all those sweet sweet love only lasted for 2 mths after that my mother transferred me to a nearer school call Sennett Pri, i still remember i was super sad lah, i beg my mother not to transferred me out but u all oso know as if adult give a shit to a primary 3 kid, being a loner but very qiao again i saw my buddy Tobby at Sennett because we always fight at our old school.
Our opponent are those nepalese guhkas, Holy their mother god, they are all fuking fit lah, if u dunno can always come down to Potong Pasir Ave 1 Riverside try to pace with them and u noe what i mean.
After that in Sennett, i saw tobby and the only buddy i have confirm hang with him but u all oso know as long as u nvr tio "AIDS" people still will play with u so everytime recess sure chiong to field play "Police and Thieves" so i got to know some of the buddies still hang out with which include Jian Ass, Bear, Toad, Monkey. Till now we are still in contact except Monkey.
Memorable childhood which i can said.

I say so much just want to tell u guys my bday is on 5 sept so get prepared LOL...
Friends are for Life

Something i need to explain after my "Salt buddy" said "u like this post she might see it..i mind?"
Haha...I dun mind she see also because we explain each other's stand already, everything started to fast and sudden. That day dunno why i will shoot out that thing,(Confession) partly friends are there to encourage and myself wanted to be loved by another girl and other little little reasons like she is sweet looking etc. This post is to explain the aftermath. I not giving her up nor going after her or rather i letting everything do go in a nature course. "Live for Love" The love here means love for Kinship, Friendship and Relationship so i still have a bunch of Salt Rubber friends still got family. Nobody know what the future holds, for now maybe i am still not that ready for relationship, i apologize for that saying "I think i am ready"

Human tend to overlook what they are looking for rather they find things to satisfy own needs, be it rational or not. Still that Be Contented in everything i do.

I must admit i think i am abit addicted in smoking, last time i smoke when i feel down (excuses but no choice) I finish 1 pack abt 2 days alone hmm..maybe not alot for those hardcore but to me is quite alot normally last time is share or 1 pack can take 1 week finish. Trying to cut down from now onwards and seriously smoking kills stamina, i today went jogging and exercising at my house downstairs, when i run for a short distance, i still feel ok then i run up the stairs to my house OH man the kick come liao, i felt my heart going to give way feel like Ichigo going to bring me to soul society soon but heng i faster calm myself up den everything back to normal. What a experience..phew

This is a soul searching post
After i read her blog and i realized that what i did is a hasty move but i am sure we are getting closer after this in the term of friendship.
I shall not fall in love so easily and truly seek "The One" follow the course of nature, oh man first time jio coursemate fail, i shall change to go jio School mate liao LOL...

I shld really enjoy my singlehood and keep walking till someone bump into me and i got that electro shock *drama

Now i feel i am quite relieved ..

Please note..This is a EMO post

Ytd i told her abt i like her and hope to be the only bumble bee to be with her(abit drama) I understand abit sudden and too fast but only letting her know how i feel hmm..she tot i prank on her like what i prank on xue ting.
Haix..seriously isit normally i be clown too much den when i say serious stuff ppl still tot i am joking when i am serious ppl tot i am pranking. Looks like i have to take off my mask.

I wanted to ask her to go watch fireworks but looks like have to give it a pass.
I think i am recovered for the previous fall
I think i am gonna open my heart to her
I think i am gonna work harder to win her heart

Called her just now, (around 2pm plus)first time heard her voice when she just woke up still lying on bed don't want to get up due to the cool weather. So sweet guess when u like someone, u like everything she does.

1 more week to exam, module is call "Operating System Management" Which is about how Our Windows can do except, gaming, surfing internet, checking email and do work, Rather make use of the OS to do remote domain or give permission etc.


Its been a long time since i got the feel again, about 1yr 8 mths? Feels good everything seems so "secret" Watched Secret by Jay and Rush Hour 3 this month and next will be Bourne Utimatium and FlashPoint on www.youku.com (The fighting is awesome) Rush hour is super funny* recommend and Jay is more on sweet sweet romance.
Hmm..wondering can i have my retirement b4 55? Be a boss of ur own sure can but isit that easy to establish? what if fail? Haix...life isn't that easy afterall. I got a uncle 4o liao going to marry soon, finally going to quit his bachelor status, he chiong his career till now saved lots of money and marry but actually i feel the PROBLEM does not lies on money rather fate and love, he got 2 girlfriends but nvr last so sometimes i wonder when u get older and older, ur conditions for love change, or rather say conditions for a mate. When u everyday 8am to 5pm go work is there any high chance for u go dating all this will be under consideration. *sorry for the long blog* Haha..wait dun say i think too much hor, just some recollection.

*sorry for the long entry*
Oh yah..Ghost festival open sesame and 1st day of it my mom told me her 2 friends alrdy saw "that" WTF lah, i jitao shocked, this year so fierce meh den my mom faster give me amulets den i got 2 protection 1 at wallet 1 wear at body, bo bian play defender for this month. People say this month dun stay outside too late but i alrdy 4-5 days 12 plus walk home den i fuking scare when walking back passing the industrial park at Toa Payoh and keep thinking that scenario that IF i encounter den what i will do, and kenna mindfuk till i scare myself. The aftermath which is ytd i dreamt of ghost siah, Shit lah nb..daytime think too much liao. LOL

Alright! Money today 2pm reached, available to draw need to return my friends some money becoz owe them some cash when my sugarcane alrdy kenna squashed till no water.
LoL..Suddenly too struck up at my childhood time, now when i want to go shit i will, shake my body* and say "Are u thinking what i am thinking B1? I am thinking what u are thinking B2, Its PANG SAI time!"
Sometimes rekindle back the feeling of past is quite memorable at times
"Once a brother, Always a brother"
Reference from Saint's Andrew

CCL = Comeback of Contact Lens
Hmm..i feel with my current hairstyle, contact lens will be nicer and i think will give bonus marks when tackle girls. LOL...Sianed my pay drag and drag now i know what is feel to be when ur pay come late. Alot of things cant do and go out also sian halfway.
Went to watched movie with coursemates, andy, Yc, denise and nat total 5 and Rush Hour 3 is recommended. 1 of my Fav Actor is Chris tucker, man he is talented and his comeback movie is RH3, love the way he act and talks(and sing) After movie, walk to meet Jian and on the way met Yanling and Shushan..Alright this part i shall not talk more ..LOL..

Lets celebrate because my buddies list at the side added 1 buddy and he started to blog after blogging is started so long ago. Last time when secondary, these blogging craze started and i feel tat blogging is so girlie stuff and if guys blog i see them as gays. But when enter the poly in 1st yr, i started to blog, everything dunno even a kid from primary school know how to change skin add tag board all this feel so pai seh. at least now got a proper blog liao...Realized that blog is a way of communication at least let my friends know what i am doing nowadays.
Suddenly enlightened ...memories is there to serve the purpose or rather reminder to let you dun make the same mistake again. Fuk so late den kenna enlightened.

Went to supper with qx, jian and yuling is last min jio and we are quite surprised that she so steady guess she miss us too much becoz we have a fun "past" Everyone's love matter, friendship matter, money matter and work matter etc all evolve around this "past"
We all work in Mac at Wisma Atria although now alrdy closed down but till now i walk pass there i will still look around at Crystal Jade Express( Last time, location is Mac) i can only say sweet, happy, unhappy and sad can be found there.
Sorry for some histoy because i suddenly got the feel to blog about this. My first love was also found there and some interesting(stupid) stuff that i do to win her heart over, whenever i thought of it, i still will laugh. But past alrdy is over, we can only keep it in our heart as a memories so as for now, i will do something also. Suddenly got a target but i think is probably quite hard becoz she is quite popular, quite sociable, quite good looking, quite friendly BUT she got her target also so to update i shall ask her how is the progress, because normally i won go fight for a losing battle. Not say suddenly lah, got feel for her and due to some stuff lah, den nvr really go into it.
Hmm...Ytd went to pub(anchorage) with qx, jian, sw, kit, dz. I find that place abit sian but that place got warmth lah as in kinda of used to it sometimes once in a blue moon can see "illegal bookie" there. Ask me if dunno what is bookie*
Quite emo also but after that everything is fine, mayb becoz i am quite stress abt school work nowadays din get a chance to really go let out fustration so abit emo ytd...LOL. Happy Bday to SINGAPORE!!
Happy Bday to Yu Ling!! (9th of August)
Happy Double Pay to me!!